by Natalie M. Olbrych, MSW
The holiday season can be a time of joy and connection, but for many LGBTQ+ individuals, it can also bring stress, anxiety, and even fear. As a social worker specializing in trauma care and trauma-informed practices, I feel driven to emphasize how important it is to approach this time with intentional self-care, especially when navigating challenges unique to our community.
This year, the stakes feel even higher. Post-election tensions have heightened feelings of uncertainty and fear, especially as anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric continues to rise. For many of us, this tension compounds the challenges of stepping into spaces—whether family gatherings or social events—that may feel alienating or even unsafe. Being queer in predominantly straight spaces, or facing family who may not fully accept or understand our identities, can make us feel like we’re carrying a heavy burden, one that is both personal and political.
Navigating Straight Spaces with Intention
Straight spaces, especially those filled with family and longtime friends, can come with unspoken expectations about how we present ourselves. There’s often pressure to “tone down” our identities or avoid topics that feel controversial. This kind of masking is exhausting and isolating, particularly when the values and politics of those around us clash with our own.
If you find yourself in such a space, it’s okay to set boundaries to protect your energy. This might look like taking breaks during gatherings to reset, finding a supportive friend to text when things feel overwhelming, or even planning an early exit if the environment becomes too difficult to navigate.
The Complexity of Family
Family dynamics during the holidays are often layered with unspoken tensions, unaddressed histories, and the hope (or expectation) of shared celebration. For LGBTQ+ individuals, these dynamics are further complicated by the reality that not all families are affirming or even understanding of who we are.
Remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation or a performance of your identity. If your family is supportive, lean into that love and connection. If they’re not, you still deserve to honor yourself. This could mean finding ways to affirm your identity privately or seeking solace in your chosen family—the people who see and celebrate you fully.
Acknowledging the Current Climate
This post-election season has created a unique and fraught environment, particularly for LGBTQ+ individuals. With anti-trans legislation, rising political polarization, and harmful rhetoric permeating public discourse, the weight we carry as queer people can feel heavier than ever.
It’s okay to feel exhausted, angry, or afraid. These emotions are valid, and they reflect the resilience you bring to navigating a world that often marginalizes us. But your beautiful resilience doesn’t mean you have to carry this weight alone. It’s not a weakness to ask for support—it’s a testament to your strength.
Finding the Strength to Ask for Support
One of the most radical acts of self-care is recognizing when you need help and reaching out for it. I acknowledge how difficult this can be, especially for those of us who have internalized the message that we must be self-sufficient or silent about our struggles. But as perspectives shift, we’re starting to understand that seeking support is not a sign of weakness—but a true reflection of our courage and self-worth.
This holiday season, consider:
Leaning on your community. Whether it’s chosen family, close friends, or an LGBTQ+ support group, your community can be a source of strength and affirmation.
Seeking professional support. Therapists, social workers, or crisis hotlines can provide critical care and perspective, especially if you’re navigating trauma or heightened stress.
LGBT National Hotline: Call 1-888-843-4564 for peer counseling, information, and local resources. This hotline is available Monday through Friday from 4 PM–12 AM ET and Saturday from 12 PM–5 PM ET.
The Trevor Project: Call 1-866-488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online for free, 24/7 crisis support. This hotline is for LGBTQ+ youth ages 13–24.
Trans Lifeline: Call 1-877-565-8860. This hotline is staffed by transgender people for transgender people.
SAGE LGBT Elder Hotline: Call 1-877-360-LGBT (5428) to connect with friendly responders. This hotline is free and available 24/7.
Practicing self-compassion. Give yourself permission to rest, say no, or step away from situations that harm your well-being.
Creating Spaces for Joy
Amid the challenges, remember that the holidays are also an opportunity to cultivate magic and joy on your terms. Whether it’s going to or organizing a queer-friendly holiday gathering, indulging in solo traditions that bring you peace, or simply taking a moment to reflect on your growth, joy is a form of resistance and healing.
This season, I challenge you all to commit to honoring yourselves and each other. By leaning into community, setting boundaries, and finding the strength to ask for support, we can navigate the holidays with resilience and grace. You are not alone in this journey—your experiences are valid, your story matters, and your well-being is worth prioritizing.
Take care of yourself this holiday season—you deserve it.
Natalie Olbrych, MSW (she/her) is proud to be the Administrative Coordinator for SpeakOUT. She holds a master’s degree in social work with a specialization in trauma and violence and also serves at The Center for Violence Prevention and Recovery at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. A trauma-informed Reiki practitioner and Tarot Lady, Natalie combines her expertise and intuition to create healing and affirming spaces for those she supports.