SpeakOUT Speakers Share The Importance of TDOV

As a transgender woman I look forward to the Transgender Day of Visibility (TDOV) every year. I feel a deep connection to the day because TDOV is the day I came out at work, two years ago this year. The joy I felt that day inspired me, in part, to join SpeakOUT. Unfortunately, the world has changed for the worse since then, especially the past two months. The federal government and many states are passing laws and making policies that are aimed at making me, as a transwoman, invisible and illegal. The assault on my basic human rights is constant. 

The support I received–and still receive–from my coworkers has been a key part of my transition. Speaking very personally, I value every call, text, or email I get from an ally. With current events being what they are, I can’t transition without support. Checking in regularly with anyone you know who identifies as trans or nonbinary is vital to their well-being. I also believe friends and allies need to claim a part of TDOV for themselves. They need to become vocal and visible advocates on behalf of the trans and nonbinary community. I urge you to make a social media post expressing support or to write senators and reps in congress. 

Finally, to trans and nonbinary peers, I remind you that living our authentic lives is joyous. We cannot be made invisible or erased unless we let ourselves be. As we celebrate our Day of Visibility, do more than just be seen, let the world know we are happy, well thought of, joyful, and confident. 

~Jenn (she/her)

It's a very frightening time to be visibly trans in person or online. When the results of the presidential election became clear, I got a bold tattoo of the trans symbol on my arm. I did this because, while I didn't know exactly what was coming, I knew that when things get bad for people like us, I could pass. Many people don’t know I’m trans until I tell them (who says I should be in which bathroom at restaurants and at work is a different story). And I know how to hide and how to obfuscate and elide; I am good at that, after long practice. So I wanted to do something for myself to make it harder to lie and to hide. I respect anyone’s choice to pass to keep themself safe, but I wanted to do something to remind myself of the impossibility, for me, of going back, and my responsibility not to.  

Visibility is important because without it, people who think trans folks are scary or crazy or evil can't ever get to know us and know that trans people are full, and often wonderful, human beings. Trans visibility is also important because coming out as transgender–naming ourselves as trans–is a radical act of self-definition. And I have come to feel that transness isn’t primarily about politics or genitalia or clothes or pronouns or bathrooms. It’s about deciding that we can take responsibility for ourselves and who we are, and once we take responsibility for ourselves, we can do whatever we want; and once we do that, we are free. Our visible, radical freedom will help everyone, cis and trans alike, be a little more free.

Aiden (they/them)

Transgender Day of Visibility is important to me as the word “visibility” just says it all. I always knew who I was, or at least who I wasn’t, but fear kept me from living my truth. Coming out to be myself at age 60 was scary, but I would not change a thing. Being OUT there and working with the community in so many ways has totally defined freedom for me. Working with SpeakOUT, then with Fenway’s LGBTQIA+ Aging Project, and now Transgender Emergency Fund of MA has allowed me to give back to the next wave of people, so they don’t have to suffer from the same fear and get to experience that amazing and “Gabulous” feeling of truth and freedom. Visibility to me is simply and gratefully, OUT & PROUD. 

Gabi (she/her)

Trans Day of Visibility is a unique opportunity to bring trans and gender non-conforming people out of the shadows of mainstream culture. As a trans person, it is sometimes hard to get noticed for the right reasons. I'm not looking to be stared at, I'm looking to be acknowledged as a whole human. It is also difficult to see yourself reflected back in others because of a lack of representation in the media and daily life, whether it be watching Netflix, going grocery shopping, or walking into a new job on the first day.

Representation is a core component of Trans Day of Visibility and is also one of the biggest motivations behind the music that I make. As an electronic pop musician, representation is very important to me. I want to continue the rich tradition of artistic expression in the queer and trans community. I also want to bring others from the "outside" of the community to learn about our lives, talents, and dreams. An additional motivating force for me is showing trans/gender non-conforming kids that they can pursue their dreams and that older people deeply care about their well-being.

On March 18, I released my second single, Freak_01, a song that is dear to my heart as a trans person. The song speaks to how often it's the "weird" people or the "weird parts" of a person that can move society forward and create joy. I want people to reclaim the freakish or weird parts of themselves because it is one reason they are so beautiful. It's not an easy journey, but it's worth it.

I hope you enjoy the song and give extra love to the trans and gender non-conforming people in your life!
https://open.spotify.com/album/1yuvDy8wEZ8101NrKQCSFV?si=j58ibEW5QkCLeflXNPw2eA

Ash (they/she)

Finding Strength in Asking for Support: Self-Care During the Holiday Season as an LGBTQ+ Individual

by Natalie M. Olbrych, MSW

The holiday season can be a time of joy and connection, but for many LGBTQ+ individuals, it can also bring stress, anxiety, and even fear. As a social worker specializing in trauma care and trauma-informed practices, I feel driven to emphasize how important it is to approach this time with intentional self-care, especially when navigating challenges unique to our community.

This year, the stakes feel even higher. Post-election tensions have heightened feelings of uncertainty and fear, especially as anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric continues to rise. For many of us, this tension compounds the challenges of stepping into spaces—whether family gatherings or social events—that may feel alienating or even unsafe. Being queer in predominantly straight spaces, or facing family who may not fully accept or understand our identities, can make us feel like we’re carrying a heavy burden, one that is both personal and political.

Navigating Straight Spaces with Intention

Straight spaces, especially those filled with family and longtime friends, can come with unspoken expectations about how we present ourselves. There’s often pressure to “tone down” our identities or avoid topics that feel controversial. This kind of masking is exhausting and isolating, particularly when the values and politics of those around us clash with our own.

If you find yourself in such a space, it’s okay to set boundaries to protect your energy. This might look like taking breaks during gatherings to reset, finding a supportive friend to text when things feel overwhelming, or even planning an early exit if the environment becomes too difficult to navigate.

The Complexity of Family

Family dynamics during the holidays are often layered with unspoken tensions, unaddressed histories, and the hope (or expectation) of shared celebration. For LGBTQ+ individuals, these dynamics are further complicated by the reality that not all families are affirming or even understanding of who we are.

Remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation or a performance of your identity. If your family is supportive, lean into that love and connection. If they’re not, you still deserve to honor yourself. This could mean finding ways to affirm your identity privately or seeking solace in your chosen family—the people who see and celebrate you fully.

Acknowledging the Current Climate

This post-election season has created a unique and fraught environment, particularly for LGBTQ+ individuals. With anti-trans legislation, rising political polarization, and harmful rhetoric permeating public discourse, the weight we carry as queer people can feel heavier than ever.

It’s okay to feel exhausted, angry, or afraid. These emotions are valid, and they reflect the resilience you bring to navigating a world that often marginalizes us. But your beautiful resilience doesn’t mean you have to carry this weight alone. It’s not a weakness to ask for support—it’s a testament to your strength.

Finding the Strength to Ask for Support

One of the most radical acts of self-care is recognizing when you need help and reaching out for it. I acknowledge how difficult this can be, especially for those of us who have internalized the message that we must be self-sufficient or silent about our struggles. But as perspectives shift, we’re starting to understand that seeking support is not a sign of weakness—but a true reflection of our courage and self-worth.

This holiday season, consider:

• Leaning on your community. Whether it’s chosen family, close friends, or an LGBTQ+ support group, your community can be a source of strength and affirmation.

• Seeking professional support. Therapists, social workers, or crisis hotlines can provide critical care and perspective, especially if you’re navigating trauma or heightened stress.

• LGBT National Hotline: Call 1-888-843-4564 for peer counseling, information, and local resources. This hotline is available Monday through Friday from 4 PM–12 AM ET and Saturday from 12 PM–5 PM ET. 

• The Trevor Project: Call 1-866-488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online for free, 24/7 crisis support. This hotline is for LGBTQ+ youth ages 13–24. 

• Trans Lifeline: Call 1-877-565-8860. This hotline is staffed by transgender people for transgender people. 

• SAGE LGBT Elder Hotline: Call 1-877-360-LGBT (5428) to connect with friendly responders. This hotline is free and available 24/7.

• Practicing self-compassion. Give yourself permission to rest, say no, or step away from situations that harm your well-being.

Creating Spaces for Joy

Amid the challenges, remember that the holidays are also an opportunity to cultivate magic and joy on your terms. Whether it’s going to or organizing a queer-friendly holiday gathering, indulging in solo traditions that bring you peace, or simply taking a moment to reflect on your growth, joy is a form of resistance and healing.

This season, I challenge you all to commit to honoring yourselves and each other. By leaning into community, setting boundaries, and finding the strength to ask for support, we can navigate the holidays with resilience and grace. You are not alone in this journey—your experiences are valid, your story matters, and your well-being is worth prioritizing.

Take care of yourself this holiday season—you deserve it.

Natalie Olbrych, MSW  (she/her) is proud to be the Administrative Coordinator for SpeakOUT. She holds a master’s degree in social work with a specialization in trauma and violence and also serves at The Center for Violence Prevention and Recovery at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. A trauma-informed Reiki practitioner and Tarot Lady, Natalie combines her expertise and intuition to create healing and affirming spaces for those she supports.